A year of kindness and an encounter with hate

A conversation with readers and how I align my position with writing

In August this year I opened my substack, an effort to write persistently and to find my readers. It has turned out to be a beautiful journey, in which my readers subscribed and gave me a luxury of time to pursue stories and essays I want to form. I want to thank you all subscribers for your generosity. Your kindness means a lot to me because it is the support and a confirmation that a writer needs to be strong and consistent on their path.

I received several notes from the subscribers who concerned about the issues I wrote and wanted to exchange conversation. I also received quite a few “coffee” - a kind donation from readers who chose to support the article I wrote or show sympathy with the story. Those sparked joy (and sorrow) with stories/problems I couldn’t fathom in life. The moments stay with me for a long time, reminding me that I am not the only one who cares about the thing I write. I am not a lonely bird dying to find a psychosonic voice. Thank you for not being lonely in this world.

I just returned Vietnam for a short visits and do some reading and conversations with Vietnamese readers. Some weeks ago, I met Hanoi readers in the American Center, which gave me their time and effort to bring me to my readers.

However I was greeted by an army of online trolls and haters, some constantly commented on my Facebook post of invitation that I should just “go eat dog meat and stop doing poetry”, followed by so many comments with swearing words and dirty jokes. I was surprised that why people got to hate me without knowing who I am, and not even know what my poetry is about. This group pursued me with this hate conversations for several days over the course of my visit to Hanoi. They showed me that they didn't need another poet and my poetry was a joke.

To be honest, I let them be as I believe in a thing call freedom of speech for the first few days into this attack. However, at the end I decided that my place was no place for hate and slippery dirty jokes. I wrote a declaration that I didn't want them to be in my life and I decided to let them go by blocking them. Surprisingly, the man who started this hate conversation thread didn't stop. He and his thousands of fans came to bombard my page with dirty rhyming sentences proving that how dirty poetry could get. He reached out to me with other nicknames, insisting that it was not hate, and he never swore at me. I think there has been a change in my response to these people/troll army, that I don’t let them spend my time and spend my effort in meaningless while I have to struggle every day to write better. I let them go, for good.

While all of this happened, I met my Hanoi readers, had a wonderful poetry reading night with them. I read from my books and I invited them to read from their views. Many brought their poems and joined the night, we had two hours of reading before the weekend. In those two hours, no hater showed up.

I guess they are just powerful online.

This photo was taken by a reader who joined the night. I looked like I was furious, but actually I felt the empathy and gentle kindness of readers here for me when they showed up.

It has been a year into poetry. My book came out in October, I got a lot of support from magazines/newspaper featuring about my book when it was launched. I got a lot of interest from frequent and new readers, which is surprising to me as people don't talk a lot about reading a poem these days.

In our “Writing Against Borders” workshops every two weeks, I got to hear participants do presentations and read poems and reasoning towards beauty. A colleague of mine read her poems about listening and singing with a koel, and another poem named “Cradle” about how we forget the world as it is when we grow up. I called it a night because a lot of beautiful notion filled my heart, beyond the hatred I was poured on the week before my first reading in Vietnam.

Into the new year, I am grateful for having you here in this substack, as my subscribers, readers and supporter. I will continue writing and follow the path of stories that lead me to you and lead me to the world.

Next week, in January 8th, I will have a second reading in Ho Chi Minh City.

Time: 15:00-16:30, Monday, January 8, 2024

Venue: American Center, 8th Floor, Diamond Plaza, 34 Le Duan, District 1, HCMC

Register for the event here: https://forms.gle/y2DLDLL5iKaWkc7C8

I hope to see you there if you are coincidently in Saigon. I wish you a Happy New Year, in which we continue finding so many reasons to love life better everyday.

With love,

Khải Đơn